Play Instead

Oh boy can I make things difficult for myself or what?! Having managed to Put Paint to Paper I very quickly took off in another unhelpful direction.  I have this ability (disability actually) to turn almost anything into a “have to, must do, should do”. This means that instead of enjoying things I create a whole story around them which means I can’t just enjoy the process any more because it’s turned into a chore. In Montenegro I saw these...

Paint has reached paper

Now part of me is hugely resisting showing these painting efforts. My inner critic (IC) is alive and kicking and has lots of unpleasant things to say but worse are the voice of my fears. Somewhere along this journey through life I picked up collection of them and in situaions like this they come out screamming and hollering. “Don’t be daft, you can’t do that, people will laugh at you, you’ll be ridiculed, made to look like a fool,...

Oh God Painting!

This may be a cry for help or a lament, you decide. It never really goes away this paining thing and increasingly I’m feeling hemmed in and cornered by it. I’ve got nowhere to go, my cover has been blown. I wonder why I have to fight it so much, it’s not even something I can acutally verbalise any more except to hear myself scream. I CAN”T. I could adopt the phrase I constantly chant at my children.” Don’t say...

Painting Instruction

It first happened ten years ago. I was on the Hoffman Process trying to throw myself into when all I got was paintings. Every visualisation we went into appeared as a painting to me. I was pretty disturbed and rattled by this, never having considered myself adept in that region. By the end of the week I was beside myself with it, as I yet a again incanted ” But I can’t paint”. It was suggested I check out The Artists Way, which I did,...