“I didn’t sign up for this, no-one told me it would be like this.”
I threw myself on my bunk crying “I don’t want to be a mother any more, I can’t do this, why on earth did I have children”
I’d like to go somewhere where I’m bathed in healing light, given a nice hot drink and a biscuit, my shoulders are massaged and someone tells me what to do before I’m beamed back.
Back I’d come confident, in charge and in control of myself ready to take on the whatever madness is before me.
And let me tell you that madness is not confined to those lovely beings I brought into the world, I regularly join in and fail completely, to remain grown-up and adult.
Dr.Bradley’s book “Yes, Your Parents are Crazy”, may indeed be right.
I had a realisation the other day.
I’m allowing myself to be driven crazy and I have to do something about it and quickly.
I issue threats I’ll never carry out, I snipe and sneer, criticise and control, I rant and rage. I throw tantrums and have even hurt my throat I shouted so loud. Scary Mum!
I know some of you will be horrified since you never stoop to these sort of sick behaviours, bully for you, you’re a better person than me, that’s for sure.
Some of you may feel sorry for me, or think I need some sort of emotional help…….don’t and maybe I do.
Seriously though, it’s TOUGH this teen thing, well for me it is, and I don’t always feel very well equipped for the task. I need a thicker skin, a bigger arsenal of tools, more back-up, proper breaks, less other stuff going on and to shed some of the buttons I wear that so easily get triggered.
And it’s those buttons which prove the most elusive to change. If only it was as easy as snipping them of and replacing them with a nice new toggle or snap fasteners.
All is not lost though. I’m learning that my buttons do not get pushed nearly so often when life is simple. The less distractions the better. When I am trying to do one hundred other things, schedules are tight and there’s a long list of to-do’s I don’t have the time, stamina or head space to deal with it in a loving, light, rational way.
What I need is: