Let Them be Bored
“They never leave me alone”, how can I ever get a break.
If we constantly “entertain” our children either with TV and electronic gadgets or by ourselves hovering around how can they learn to be with themselves, by themselves, to play alone, with others or to entertain themselves.
When they do learn this then space is created for us to do what we need to do.
Yes they may be bored and moan and create, initially, and we must hold this space until they settle, till something rises to the surface and they find THEY can fill the space , they know what to do.
I loved a parenting book suggestion for when they say they are bored and I have used it often. Instead of falling into the trap of listing all the amazing and wonderful things and opportunities around them, to which the reply is “nah, don’t want to, not interested” or something similar, say something like,
“ Oh dear, it’s tough being bored.”
AND leave them with it. This is the place of creativity and imagination, it’s sacred, we must try not to trample on it with OUR suggestions, they will know, something will emerge if we can hold fast and wait.
A painting emerges!
The more we encourage and allow this the more they learn how to be with themselves and the less we need to resort to the electronic back-up.
Well that’s my theory and I’m sticking with it for now.
MairiStones
Hello, yes, I think boredom can be good. With the little ones, it’s good now to be able to send them out into the cul de sac to play with the boys next door. They run around wildly out there and create all sorts of fantastical games. But some days they try to get back into the house, and I have to keep chucking them out. At the moment D just reads and reads and C plays loads of drums and bagpipes, not very outdoorsy but got to let them have some choices too.
Seana, it all sounds great, and reading and bagpipes heaps better than screens, in my opinion, even if not out doors.X
PS Can you do one on “Let them be … hungry..’ I think kids don’t get hungry enough in the modern western world (and too hungry in the developing world.)
Love the “let them be…..’ idea, bit of hands off parenting. There’s a mum in Melbourne who home eductates and has just changed her blog title to: ‘Free range in the suburbs.’ It was ‘Yay for Home.’
Good idea Seana. I have similar feelings and lots more to say about kids and parenting, watch this space.X
Oh good idea. It concerns me the number of overweight children I am seeing, especially girls. It truly is a crazy world where children are starving to death on one part of the world while others are being stuffed to death, no balance, no fairness. X