Hope from Despair

The last month was a tough one CFS/ME wise. I ached a lot, neck, shoulders and back and sometimes my back was so painful that putting my socks on became a major operation. I felt exhausted a lot, had headaches, truly terrible digestion and slept during the day for hours at a time.

I’ve described the place it took me to  in my recent post, Depression Fog and now want to fill in the detail.

Since returning to Rowan in mid Jan we have faced some pretty tough weather conditions. Although most of the time we have been in harbour, even that can be challenging when mother nature is throwing all she’s got at you.

I began to worry a lot about how we were going to safely get to the next port.This was all exacerbated by knowing that we are on the downhill slope to home, or should I say up hill struggle to get back to Scotland by the end of July. At times it has seemed like an impossible task especially with this unseasonably stormy weather holding us back.

Round and round went these thoughts along with parenting worries, health concerns, food anxieties and so on swirling into a whirlpool of worries. Couple this with several sleepless or broken nights checking the boat, and several over night trips, all taking their physical and emotional toll,  I found myself down. I mean down deep down, in a dark place.

“ There are times when you’re unable to talk yourself out of depression, despite valiant efforts at staying positive…….If logic doesn’t console, energy work touches the deepest parts of you….the way to transform depression is to ignite the energy of hope” From Emotional Freedom by Judith Orloff, M.D.

This seems to be holding true for me. Logic is no good, I can explain it all away but what is working for me is the energy work.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is the energy work which I was recommended to learn and use and it works. It breaks through the fog allowing a chink of hope to enter. The more I practice it the more convinced I am of the magic of releasing emotions at an energetic level. It can transform how I feel now, but also helps to heal wounds from the past.

If I couple this with connecting with friends or family who love me deeply and who truly care about me and my well being and I feed and nurture myself with all the things I know work for me; yoga, good healthy nutritious food, time alone, being in nature, painting, writing, sleep, a good easy reading book, hope grows and I can re-emerge from my fog afresh.

What brings you hope in times of despair?