and still I wander back over past conversations and experiences
things I “should” have done or said.
obscure moments in time, thoughts, feelings actions from a life time ago relentlessly playing them over as if I can change what been.
forward I go marching into the unknown wondering, planning, wishing, hoping, imagining outcomes and conversations, playing out whole scenarios in my head.
We’ve had a fight, made up and fought again and you don’t even know it!
where am I?
Not where I want to be.
Dancing around in the future and digging around in the past fuels worry, anxiety, regret, fear, and anger that keep my trapped in the bottle neck of my own life,
trying to force myself out into the open where I can breathe.
I BREATHE and I am here NOW:
the earth below my feet, the sky above my head, the air around me and the sensations within me.
My body saves me,
I am present to myself and all that IS. I can hear, see, feel, taste, smell and sense the world.
I am FREE from bindings of my past that grip me tight, haul me back to old patterns and beliefs, to suffering.
I release the grip of future times, the what if’s that twist around contorting my thoughts into an endless tangle.
AND WHAT NEXT?
a soft, gentle voice whispers, eat, rest, stretch, hug, write, create, cook, share, let go, let go, let go, be here now,
it’s the only place to BE.